If you are considering filing for divorce, you may be feeling terrible about it. Yet, if filing is the best decision for you, it is best that you do not let the emotional guilt prevent you from going ahead.
So what is it that causes people to feel bad about ending their marriage? While the reasons are specific to each individual, here are some common factors behind those feelings.
Family and friends
Family and friends can often exert considerable pressure on people to conform to social expectations, whether explicitly or implicitly. Maybe your mom has always told you that you are lucky to have such a clever and handsome spouse and that you need to avoid doing anything stupid that causes you to lose them. They might not understand that there is another darker side to the son or daughter-in-law they adore. Or simply that as great as your spouse is, they don’t make you happy.
Friend groups can also make people question their decision to file for divorce. You might believe that splitting with your spouse will cause you to be left out of the groups of other couples that form the basis of your current social scene.
Concerns about the children
A lot of people do hold off divorcing, for fear of how a divorce will affect their children. While the effect can be real, foregoing your own happiness, well-being or potential for their sake is a high price to pay, and perhaps not one they would want you to take once they are old enough to understand.
Religious beliefs
Some religions (or groups within a religion) are heavily against divorce. They strongly believe marriage is for life and may even consider divorce a sin. That can be a heavy weight to bear if you are invested in that religion or it is embedded in your culture.
Learning more about the legal and practical side of divorce can help you put any guilty feelings into perspective so you can make a better decision about whether a divorce is right for you.